BOTTLED GRIEVANCES

On a fateful Thursday, after work I went to church. I have been missing mid-week services for a while now. So I decided to go that day, to make peace with my conscience that has been waging war with me.

On getting to church, I hurried in, rushing past other worshippers on their way in too. I was fashionably late and didn’t want to dawdle outside. I could hear that a prayer session was on. I entered the auditorium and found a seat quickly.

I mumbled a quick prayer and settled in to join others. Alas, the prayer session was over. I could see the choir filing out to minister. My heart sunk inside me. I knew my conscience was going to berate me later.

I guess the devil must be out to ruin that day completely for me, because the soloist for that day was a guy that we had a nasty quarrel some weeks back. My heart sunk lower. Without notice, a fury and rage rose inside me. I tuned out completely throughout the ministration and the remaining part of the service. If looks could kill, the guy should have dropped dead at the altar because I was shooting daggers at him with my eyes.

We had this huge and nasty quarrel between us. He hurt me so badly and deep that I can’tbutfeel hatred for him. We are not on speaking terms presently. We just behave like the other person doesn’t exist.

You know what? I am hurting myself more than him. Why? Because, I lose more. I carry this huge grievance in me against him, which is depriving me from getting a fulfilling worship in God’s presence.

Not only that, bottled grievances turn us into an angry person who can never be reasonable. Anger is a fire in our bosom. When we bottle grieve against someone in our hearts, we wound our hearts deeply. You can’t move on to a better future while still holding on to the past. You have to let go, forgive the person and set yourself free from the past.

You want to heal your wounded heart? Forgive and let go. You forgive, for your sake, not theirs. Call him/her; tell them exactly how you feel and what they did to offend you. Funny thing is they might not even know that they grieved you. Allow them to explain and apologise genuinely. Then forgive, so you can heal and set yourself free. You will be glad you did.

 

Humbly submitted,

Monisola Tairu

#MonnieWrites