On getting to church, I hurried in, rushing past
other worshippers on their way in too. I was fashionably late and didn’t want
to dawdle outside. I could hear that a prayer session was on. I entered the
auditorium and found a seat quickly.
I mumbled a quick prayer and settled in to join
others. Alas, the prayer session was over. I could see the choir filing out to
minister. My heart sunk inside me. I knew my conscience was going to berate me
later.
I guess the devil must be out to ruin that day
completely for me, because the soloist for that day was a guy that we had a
nasty quarrel some weeks back. My heart sunk lower. Without notice, a fury and
rage rose inside me. I tuned out completely throughout the ministration and the
remaining part of the service. If looks could kill, the guy should have dropped
dead at the altar because I was shooting daggers at him with my eyes.
We had this huge and nasty quarrel between us. He
hurt me so badly and deep that I can’tbutfeel hatred for him. We are not on
speaking terms presently. We just behave like the other person doesn’t exist.
You know what? I am hurting myself more than him.
Why? Because, I lose more. I carry this huge grievance in
me against him, which is depriving me from getting a fulfilling worship in
God’s presence.
Not only that, bottled grievances turn us into an
angry person who can never be reasonable. Anger is a fire in our bosom. When we
bottle grieve against someone in our hearts, we wound our hearts deeply. You
can’t move on to a better future while still holding on to the past. You have
to let go, forgive the person and set yourself free from the past.
You want to heal your wounded heart? Forgive and let
go. You forgive, for your sake, not theirs. Call him/her; tell them exactly how
you feel and what they did to offend you. Funny thing is they might not even
know that they grieved you. Allow them to explain and apologise genuinely. Then
forgive, so you can heal and set yourself free. You will be glad you did.
Humbly submitted,
Monisola Tairu
#MonnieWrites
